Leading with Love: Compassion in Action

How many of us enjoy those compassionate videos where we see someone who may be on a busy journey, pausing life to help someone in need? We scroll, we pause, we watch, we like, we smile, and then we share. Isn't it beautiful? Isn't it beautiful to see someone stopping in their busy day to show compassion? I pose this question to you. What would that look like if a camera were to follow you around to capture you showing compassion in action? What would the camera capture? What would the audience see? Would we see you busy scurrying, head down, scrolling, looking at your calendar, or talking on the phone, reminding your spouse to take out the meat so you won't be delayed cooking dinner? Or would you be lost in your thoughts, having tunnel vision, speeding to your next destination? Are you living in the moment enough to see those around you, those passing by who may have a sad face, crying in a corner, looking for directions, or scrambling to pick up the belongings off the floor? What would your viewers see, and what would they say about you? Would they watch, smile, like, and share? Our daily lives keep us busy, but we should never be too busy to look around and live in the moment.

Love is compassion in action. A phrase that is often repeated in healthcare. It is the act of doing, not just saying. My grandmother has a saying, ‘Words are wind,’ and I've learned that it is true over the years. Throughout my 16 years as a healthcare leader, I've realized that we have the gift of gab. We say things but fall short of the action. Not because we are mean-spirited individuals but because we are always focused on our feelings, agenda, and goals. Our self-centered nature makes us miss opportunities to spread love and compassion to those who need it the most around us.

As a native New Yorker, this habit comes naturally. I've sat on the train and watched people scurry to their destinations while mothers struggle to carry their infants up the stairs in a stroller. Each man focused on their path. This level of ignorance doesn't only happen during our commute, but it occurs in all healthcare settings. Employees refuse to assist because they're on break or because ‘it's not their job.’ Ignoring someone who looks lost, hoping they don't ask for help, as it will force us to stop what we're doing, or better yet, losing our patient with an irate patient who can't seem to gather their emotions because they've just received a sad diagnosis, arrived on time to their follow up appointment and was told 30 minutes after waiting there is a delay.

With pure exhaustion of the ‘New York mentality,’ I decided to go to the South where the Southern hospitalitywould embrace me, and we would work seamlessly together. I was in for a big surprise. Upon moving to Georgia, what I thought I would experience differed from what I had expected. Instead, it is what I call ‘copy/paste.’ The same people once again. Then it hit me! People's emotional intelligence has nothing to do with the state/city. It's simply just us as humans.

When I walked down the hall expecting people to greet me with a smile, I saw the top of their heads as they hurried along, eyes glued to their phones. Instead of making eye Contact with warm hellos, I started to feel awkward staring at people expecting to share hellos or greetings. When I show up at appointments, the receptionist, busy talking on the phone, takes what feels like forever to ask me to wait one moment. Sometimes, you stand there until they’re ready to acknowledge you.

I decided that I was going to stand for change by being an example. I joined Emory Healthcare as a consultant and vowed to exercise compassion in action. Through monthly micro-learnings, we’d put out small behaviors for each person to practice, from smiling, saying hello, and sharing stories of how our team goes above and beyond. One year later, I was promoted to sr. manager for patient experience. In addition to working with our Winship Cancer Center, ambulatory surgery center, human genetics, and interventional radiology, I now have the opportunity to manage guest and volunteer services. Through our impact, we can live in the moment and help those in need. Our support varies from wayfinding, as patients will experience anxiety trying to navigate to theirappointments if they are late, to our volunteers helping out in various areas, such as rounding to gather patient feedback and offer service recovery.

My goal is to spread and represent love. Compassion in action shows up as taking the time to put a smile on a patient's face if they're down, extending kindness by going above and beyond, and teaching my divisions to practice behaviors such as AIDET+H (acknowledge, introduce, duration, explanation, thank you, and handoff) and conducting pop-up surveys to ensure the behaviors are being practiced. It's not enough to talk about showing compassion to our patients; we also must remember that practice starts with how we treat each other, our colleagues, family, and friends. We tell staff, ‘Treat people how you want to be treated.’ However, with today's vast technology and love of likes, I encourage you not only to treat people the way you'd want to be treated but also to show compassion as if your social media followers are watching you. With every 24 hours that we have to serve, especially in the healthcare capacity, in moments where you are sharing space and time with someone in need or not, would you get a like, follow, or subscribe, or would you get unfollowed?

It is not enough to send out reminders to your team to display compassion. It is not enough to talk about it during daily huddles. We must act it out in all we do until the behavior becomes contagious. If you're a provider, practice habits such as sitting at eye level with your patients and starting the conversation by asking how their weekend was. If you're an administrator, check in randomly with your teams, bring in breakfast, and eat with them just because, and if you're walking in the hallway and passing someone, lift your head and say hello; it's free.